Tough Spot

For some reason, it is so hard to update this blog right now. I think it is because we are struggling to figure out which direction Annie is going. We still have hope that Annie is going to pull through this, but she has not made any great strides in that direction. The good news is that her SVC appears to be open and free from clots right now. The doctors ended the tPA yesterday morning and she seemed to tolerate it well enough. The bad news is that she is extremely swollen and is still putting way too much out of her chest tubes (about half of what she was, but still too much). I have decided that needing a miracle is a tough spot to be in. I keep thinking of all the stories in the scriptures when miracles were granted and feel a certain degree of sympathy for those that had to exhibit faith in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. We certainly don't feel like we deserve or have earned a miracle in any way, but have not given up hope that one might still be granted. The last couple of weeks have been, by far, the most painful of this entire experience as it has become increasingly difficult to feel peace. I am so grateful for the moments when I have felt peace and pray that peace will be with me in the days and weeks ahead.