Aching

Today is one of those days when everything hurts just a little- even breathing. My heart is aching for Annie as she is facing yet another surgery tomorrow. She has proven that she is a fighter, but how much more can her fragile little body endure? In spite of administering the medication that I mentioned in my previous post, she continues to drain way too much fluid from her chest tube. Tomorrow, the surgeon is planning to do a thoracic duct ligation (stapling the duct that the fluid is believed to be leaking from), a pleurodesis (abrading the chest wall to encourage scar tissue to form and eliminate the space where the fluid is accumulating), and a plication (tacking down) of her left diaphragm. The ligation and pleurodesis are both attempts to stop the excessive drainage, while the plication is hoped to help her ability to breathe. She will not have to go on bypass for these procedures so, in that regard, this surgery is not as scary as the previous two. However, Annie's overall health has been declining as she has not been able to retain the nutrition that she needs to build strength and do so many important things: breathe, grow, fight infection, and recover from surgery one more time. The other issue that is becoming quite serious is her IV access. She still needs quite a few meds and is receiving her nutrition through IVs but, it is becoming more and more difficult to find veins that can be successfully used for this. Last night, the IV team spent an hour-and-a-half attempting to place a peripheral IV with no luck. This situtaion is becoming somewhat desperate. Hopefully, the anesthesiologist tomorrow will be able to get the lines placed that are needed for the surgery and her recovery.

While we are disheartened that Annie is again heading to the operating room, we just keep remembering what we have known all along: She is in God's hands and with His power, all things are possible. I love this quote that someone shared with me recently:

"If you are helpless, He is not. If you are lost, He is not. If you don't know what to do next, He knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not?"

Boyd K. Packer

We certainly don't have all the answers. Even these amazing doctors don't have all the answers. We don't have them, but God most definitely does. She could not be in better hands than His.