ANNIE GRACE SABIN - March 30, 2010 - August 1, 2010

ANNIE GRACE SABIN - March 30, 2010 - August 1, 2010

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Thursday, July 1, 2010

Agony

I am exhausted tonight, so this post will not be long. Annie is not doing well. In spite of Friday's surgery, she continues to drain massive amounts of fluid out of her chest tubes and the doctors are offering very little hope that she will survive. We have agonized over this as we don't want our little baby to suffer any more, but have always believed that we would bring Annie home to us and still hope for that end. The doctors believe that Annie is dumping so much fluid because of the development of a clot in her superior vena cava that has now extended into her jugular vein. These clots increase her venous pressures and make it easier for fluid to leak out of the vessels than to stay in them where it belongs. We never saw this coming as we have always been so worried about her heart function and airways. It is hard to process that while we may have resolved these major things with surgery, the doctors are telling us she is dying because of a clot. Cameron and I have spent much time fasting, praying, going to the temple and doing all the things that we need to do to receive answers for Annie. Yesterday, we spent time with President Christofferson (first counselor in our stake presidency and our previous bishop), and with our current bishop and his second counselor. The time we spent with these good men was definitely a tender mercy as we were feeling so overwhelmed with the reality of what is happening to Annie's little body and trying to reconcile this with our feelings of what Annie's mission entails. Last night, as we talked with Bishop Brandt and Brother Allen, the spirit was very strong and helped us know what we need to do going forward. We decided to push onward. To let the doctors know that we are not prepared to quit. We discussed that Annie must have some agency in this as well and if she decides she cannot do it anymore, she can make the choice to go home to heaven. We will continue to fight to keep her here, trusting that God's will will be, whether it is that she stay or go. We know that Annie cannot continue as she is much longer and take some comfort in knowing that either way, her suffering should not be prolonged. We believe that either she will get better soon or she will pass away soon. We still believe that God is capable of turning this around and are praying with all of our might for that end. We also believe that should she go, our Heavenly Father will help us to understand the feelings we have had concerning her mission and all will still be well. Oh, how we love this girl. How we want to bring her home and watch her grow. Last night the bishop quoted the scripure that says "All flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God." Every time I feel the fear rising in my throat I think of this scripture. Please continue to pray for a miracle as we know we need one.

30 comments:

  1. Amy and Cam,
    We love you and we love Annie. There is no question that we will join you in prayer and ask that Annie receives a miracle. We will also pray that Annie will be comforted at this time and receive the peace, strength and freedom from pain that she needs to help continue on through this incredible trial. Your faith has been remarkable throughout this experience. Continue, in faith, to rely on the Lord and He will continue to bless you with his love and tender mercies, this we know. We love you!
    Sonny and Erik

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  2. Amy

    I will pray with all my heart I could not sleep and wanted to check to see how Annie was doing.................She is such a miracle, I wish I could write something to comfort you at this time, My heart is breaking. I send my love

    Ivy

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  3. Cameron and Amy,
    We continue to pray for you and Annie and we know the Lord has a plan for you and for her. Please know that you are surrounded by love and we hope our prayers can help sustain you. We're praying for a miracle, too!!
    Ryan and Missy

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  4. Praying for a miracle through the tears!

    Dave and Darla

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  5. We continue to pray for your sweet family. Thank you for the faith and strength you have. This beautiful song you have playing from Hillary Weeks is one of my favorites and how appropriate. My mind is always thinking of you.

    Rebecca Patton
    ihh

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  6. Can't get you and you precious little girl out of my mind.. Maybe I needed a reminder of who is in charge and who knows best for us to bring happiness in the end.. Praying ever so hard for a miracle for Annie and comfort for you

    Kerry

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  7. Amy, I am a memeber of IHH and have been following your blog since Annie was born. Annie is such a Little Miralce and has touched my heart deeply as have you and your amazing testimony and faith! I will continue to pray for Sweet Annie and your family. Jamie

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  8. Cameron and Amy, No one can know what you are going through, however with prayer and faith as strong as yours I know no matter what the outcome it will make you stronger to deal with what ever happens. My prayers are with you and with your lovely daughter Annie.
    Love Rachel

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  9. Amy-
    We have never met but my name is Nikki and I'm a part of IHH. Both of my kids have heart defects and both have required heart caths, among other avenues to get them healthy again.

    I read this post and cried so hard for you. I'm so sorry you and your family are suffering so much. It breaks my heart to see such a beautiful little girl fighting SO hard just to stay alive.

    Your faith amazes me. I can't say with any certainty that I'd be as sure of God in a time like this. We too, have fasted, prayed and attended the Temple for both of our boys and while I have moments of hope and peace, they are always driven away by fear.

    Thank you for the reminder to "Try a little harder to be a little better"

    I will be praying for your family...

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  10. The Jones family is still praying. Hugs

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  11. Dear Amy,

    Dan and I are constantly checking your blog- you, Annie, and your whole family are always in our minds and hearts. We will continue to pray with all of our might for your miracle just like you we know it is possible but also trust in the will of the Lord.

    I've said this before, but no matter what the outcome Annie has touched so many people and through you many have been influenced to better themselves (I am one of those!)

    Lots of love from our whole family (we printed a picture out of baby Annie so my kids even feel they know her and are praying for her!)

    Marci Daley

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  12. Still praying!

    Love, Hugs & Prayers,
    Christina

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  13. Dear Sabin Family,

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you all right now. Mostly I am praying for you all to continue to be blessed with the peace that your faith is bringing you.

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  14. Oh dear. This is such hard news to take for you right now after all that Annie has been through. I sincerely hope and pray that no matter what outcome Annie's little life takes in the next few days, you and your family will be sustained by peace. We know those very dark days and though we were given many miracles, we have many friends who were blessed to return home to heaven. I hope that as you counsel with the wonderful medical staff that Annie can give them some clear signs as to what direction to take. We will say an extra special prayer for Annie today.

    Alli
    mom to Grant (IHH)

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  15. Praying for little Annie and your family! These little heart hero's are so strong and have such wonderful spirits. My heart breaks for you, please know so many who just know your story through words are praying for you! What a beautiful comforting scripture, my faith has been tested in our situation with Kylie, but seeing your family and all the struggles, you have kept your faith and high spirits. Thank you!! Praying that little Annie will be stonger than ever and you are comforted at this time.
    Lots of heart love,
    Chrissie

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  16. Thank you for the inspiration.
    Our thoughts and prayers turn to your family every day. And we feel very blessed to be your neighbors and feel inspiration daily just by glancing out the window and thinking of you.

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  17. This isn't what anyone wanted to hear today. Give her lots of hugs. You are in our thoughts and prayers!

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  18. Oh, my heart aches! Sometimes our strongly felt desires do not turn out the way we wish no matter our righteousness or faithfulness. Annie's possibly not receiving the hoped-for miracle has nothing to do with your worthiness and goodness. Life happens and there is often no explanation for the pain. You are blessed to be surrounded with so much love. We continue to hold your family in our hearts... <3

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  19. I like what Dr. Kaza said, about letting Annie tell you what she needs and how she is doing. John and I had a couple of very sweet experiences with Ammon when he was in a similar position. I hope the same for you :) We're still praying for Annie!

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  20. I still believe that a miracle will still happen. We love you!
    Dave and Tammy Anderson

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  21. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little doughter.We live far away ( croatia) but our heart are with you.

    Allison, mum to Petra HLHS angel (2006-2007) and Josip 11 (HH)

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  22. You are obviously doing all you can to be strong. Your example is very uplifting and your story is very humbling. You and your family are loved even by strangers. We pray for Annie and all of the Sabin family.

    Love,

    The wilson family

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  23. Your sweetest Annie has touched so many lives in such a short amount of time. Thank you for sharing your faith during such a trying time. You don't know us but we care about you and pray for your family. May you feel the love and peace and support of so many during this time.

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  24. Oh Amy! I am so sorry to hear about little Annie. Thank you for sharing what's going on with Annie. I think of you and Annie daily. I will continue to pray and hope for a miracle. Your Faith is remarkable! Continue to stay close with our Heavenly Father, rely on Him, He will guide you through this trial to know what is best for Annie.
    All my love,
    Morgan Ferran

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  25. Our thoughts and prayers will absolutely continue for Annie and your sweet family. You are all amazing. What strength you have.
    Love,
    The Bells

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  26. I am not sure what the current status is, but your family and Annie continues to be in my prayers. I wish that you didn't have to go through such a trail, but I do know that the Lord is by your side and will help speak to you through the spirit.
    HUGS,
    Carolyn - IHH

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  27. I am so sorry that you're having to go through this. I went through a similar trial with Elaina, and it was the most difficult experience of my life. I still remember kneeling in prayer, telling my Heavenly Father, "Thy will be done", and knowing that His will could be to take my precious daughter home. Be strong in your faith, be strong in your courage. Your testimony inspires me, and I pray that you will find the comfort and strength you need to endure this trial in your life. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Love,
    Hollie, Ben and Elaina

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  28. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. These decisions are so hard. I know that Heavenly Father will guide you in these coming days and that he has a plan for Annie and your family. Hold fast to those promptings that you have been given. I received this quote when Kaidence was living in the CICU "Faith makes things possible....not easy" We are sending prayers your way.

    With Hope, Faith and Love,
    Shauntelle & Little Miss Kaidence
    www.4mykaidence.blogspot.com

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  29. Amy you are truly an amazing woman, your faith is tremendous, your faith is what is going to get you through this trial. I pray for you guys everyday for a miracle. Annie is a fighter. Thank you for sharing this experience with everyone.

    With Love, Jen

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  30. Every time I read the scriptures or a conference talk my thoughts turn to Annie, maybe because it is all relevant when it comes to her. Ann Dibb gave a talk called "Hold On." In it she quotes a promise given by the Lord, one in which I'm sure you've had much experience. "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." May angels bear you up during this terrible time of heart break and fear. We know the Lord has his own time table and we pray that Annie's miracle is still part of that. Love the Reich family.

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